


Seeing Brian Kinney

by aschicca



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M, post-513
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-18
Updated: 2011-07-18
Packaged: 2017-10-21 12:44:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/225297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aschicca/pseuds/aschicca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ted muses on his friendship with Brian, and tells us what it means to really see Brian Kinney.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing Brian Kinney

If someone had said to me only a couple of years ago that one day I’d have considered Brian Kinney one of my best friends… I probably would have called 911, after laughing myself stupid. And yet, here I am now, working with him, talking with him, advising him… seeing him.

I know what you’re thinking. Emmett thought the same when I told him. “Poor Teddy. Don’t worry honey, you’re not the first to fall for Brian Kinney. And you won’t be the last.” But it’s not like that, I’m not in love with Brian. I value my sanity too much to let myself fall for him. Besides, I have Blake in my life and he’s all I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend.

No, I’m not in love with Brian Kinney; although I have no troubles admitting that he’s beautiful, charming, sexy, powerful, intense… uh… where was I? Oh yes, I’m not in love with him. I’m really not.

But I do love him. As a friend. I see him; he allowed me to get closer to him, allowed me to see him. And once you’ve seen him, truly seen him… you can’t help but love him. Even if you still would like to hit him over the head sometimes. Okay, most times. Let’s say hourly.

Seeing Brian Kinney it’s not something most people have the fortune to do. Oh they look at him, everyone does. When he enters a room every single head turns to look at him, and they don’t always belong to gay men, either. Straight women always throw lustful looks at him, and I’ve seen many straight men take a good look at Brian, too; maybe in envy, yes, but also… well, let’s face it, if you would like to dip your toes, so to speak, in the gay pool, Brian Kinney would definitely be your lifeguard of choice. Even if ‘cockguard’ would be more appropriate in this case.

People look at Brian, but few of them see him. Justin does, of course; I believe Justin knows Brian better than Brian himself. Gus does too, but it’s easy to let a kid, especially your own, see the real you. I once thought Michael did, but these days I’m not so sure anymore. Brian and Michael still love each other, they’re still friends and something tells me they always will be; but nothing stays the same forever, and their friendship is definitely changed. For the best maybe, yes, but… I’m not sure Michael sees Brian these days. The new Brian, I mean.

To be honest, I think this fallout with Michael, the fact that they’re not as close as they once were, might be one of the reasons why I’ve had the chance to… I’d like to say ‘take his place’ but I’m not an idiot, no one could ever take Michael’s place in Brian’s life. They’ve known each other their whole lives; friendships like those can’t be replaced overnight. No, I haven’t taken Michael’s place, but I’ve been allowed to create one of my own, at Brian’s side.

I have seen Brian Kinney. You’re probably asking yourselves what the hell I can see that everyone else can’t. Well, let me explain it to you. Better, let me show you.

***

“Hey, Teddy!” Justin opened the loft’s door that morning wearing only a pair of sweatpants, and I realized I had interrupted something. Of course, with these two, you’re always interrupting something.

“Hi, Justin. I’m sorry to bother you so early, but I needed Brian to sign something for me yesterday before leaving the office, and he forgot. I need his signature immediately. I couldn’t wait till I saw him at Kinnetik, otherwise I’d never had disturbed you.”

Justin smiled at me before replying. “Don’t worry, Ted. We were about to have breakfast anyway. You can join us, if you want. Brian’s in the shower, but he’ll be out soon.”

Oh, so I hadn’t interrupted anything. Good, that might mean Brian wouldn’t be out for my blood so early in the morning.

I sat on one of the stools by the kitchen counter, and watched while Justin made coffee for three. We talked about nothing for a brief while – Blake, Justin’s next showing in New York, would you like cereal or should I make an omelette? – and then Brian came down the stairs of his bedroom.

I didn’t need to turn around to understand he had arrived. Justin’s face lit up like a Christmas tree (Deb really knew what she was doing when she dubbed him Sunshine,) and that was enough.

“Theodore,” Brian’s voice came straight from behind me but, before I could turn to face him, I realized he was headed towards Justin. “To what do we owe the dubious pleasure?”

I was about to reply when the scene in front of my eyes stopped me. Brian had placed himself behind Justin and had his arms around him. Their faces were very close, and Brian’s lips were on Justin’s temple. Justin was smiling brightly and whispering, “Behave,” obviously trying to give me a break. Brian’s, “No,” barely audible since it was muttered against Justin’s skin, made Justin laugh softly.

They were… breathtaking. It wasn’t the first time I had witnessed the two of them together, no; but it was the very first time I was allowed to see how comfortable they were with one another. It wasn’t just sex anymore. I knew that. I’d known that ever since the almost fatal night of Justin’s prom. What I didn’t know, what I never had the chance to witness before, was the feeling of ‘family’ that filled the loft. That morning, watching Brian hug Justin while he made us breakfast, watching how affectionate he was, how he goofed around just to see Justin smile, I realized something important, something astonishing: Brian Kinney didn’t mind letting me see this side of himself.

Brian Kinney was letting me, Theodore Schmidt, see the love that shined in his eyes while he tickled Justin’s bare stomach making him squirm. Did that mean mine and Brian’s, dare I say it, relationship was developing and becoming something more? Did that mean…

“Take a picture, Theodore. It’ll last longer.”

Obviously not.

“So, why the hell are you here this early?” Brian said looking at me for what I believe was the first time that day.

“He needs you to sign something, Brian. You forgot yesterday, and it was important.” I was actually glad that Justin was speaking in my place since I was still speechless for what I’d seen.

“Thank you, Sunshine, I didn’t know you now worked as Schmidt’s spokesman,” Brian’s tongue was in his cheek and his eyebrow made a sarcastic arc on his forehead.

Justin stuck his tongue out at him and Brian chuckled. He chuckled! I was never going to get my voice back again if these two kept going at it!

“Where do I sign?” Brian said.

“What?” I replied, looking puzzled.

“The signature, Theodore. The one so urgent that couldn’t wait till office hours. I’m starting to doubt it was that important, if you can forget about it so easily.”

I handed Brian the document I needed signed, then I thanked Justin for the coffee and left the two of them alone. I said I needed to hurry, but the truth was… I needed to process the new information I had about my boss.

And that was only the beginning of my ‘seeing Brian Kinney’ journey.

***

“He’s majorly pissed, Ted.” Cynthia told me, pointing at Brian’s office. “You’d better go in and tell him everything you know. It won’t help poor Mark, I’m afraid, but…”

“Cynthia! Cynthia! Where the hell is Theodore?”

“See what I mean?” Cynthia steered me in the direction of the door. “He’s all yours. Good luck.”

“Thanks a lot,” I replied glaring at her.

I took a deep breath and… showtime.

“You wanted to see me, Bri?”

“Theodore.” Brian’s voice was icy and the expression on his face was everything but reassuring. “Cynthia said you can help me with a little problem. Someone in my fucking art department has completely fucked up the boards for the new Remson Pharmaceutical’s ad, and it’s only two days before the meeting. Mark Redfield, you know him don’t you?”

I nodded and he continued. “And, get this, I’ve also just found out that this is the same Mark who’s been asking for an increase of his salary lately. The same Mark who’s been obtaining loans from a lot of my employees. A certain Ted Schmidt, included. So kindly explain to me why this idiot, who’s only able to fuck with my work, needs all this money?”

Cynthia was right, I had to tell Brian everything I knew. I couldn’t help it anymore. “Mark’s daughter is in the hospital, Brian. She’s had a bad accident and unfortunately the left side of her face has been… damaged. Her doctors have told Mark that luckily the damage is fixable but she’ll need plastic surgery. Mark already made arrangements for the operation but… he has expenses. That’s why he needs money. As for the Remson’s boards… I can only assume he was distracted by his own problems. Which is in no way a justification, but…” I stopped there and looked at Brian.

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

“I thought it could be handled without bothering you, Brian. Of course that was before he almost ruined your presentation with Mr. Remson. I’m sorry, Bri.”

Brian was silent for a long time. He just sat there, thinking, and never looked at me again. To say that I was sweating was an understatement. Then, at last, he spoke.

“I can’t let this go, Theodore. I just can’t.” He said, and I thought I would never have the courage to go to Mark and tell him he was fired. But then Brian continued. “Mark can’t work on any major accounts anymore, not until his situation is resolved at least. And all of his work needs supervision from now on. Am I making myself clear here?”

“Crystal, Bri. Does this mean he’s not fired?” Yes, I had to ask.

Brian just shook his head. Not wanting to push my luck, or Mark’s, I nodded to Brian then started making my retreat. I had just reached the door when he called me.

“Ah, Theodore?”

Turning around to face him, I replied, “Yes, Bri?”

“Send to Mark’s little girl ballons, toys, whatever the fuck kids might want to play with while in a hospital. And see if you can find out how much exactly Mark owes for this plastic surgery, okay?”

Once again, I admit it, I was speechless. I shouldn’t have been, I know, because if there’s someone who knows that Brian is willing to offer second chances, that one is definitely me. But I was his friend. Kinda. Mark had done something that could have resulted in a great problem for Kinnetik, and yet Brian was willing to help him, to offer him a second chance.

There, in Brian’s office, I saw yet another side of my boss. He was an extremely generous man and, I knew that for a fact, he never would expect to be thanked for it. Well, that was about to change.

“Thank you, Bri. Thank you.” I said looking straight into his eyes.

He nodded, his face serious, then gestured for the door letting me know I was dismissed.

I left Brian’s office that day with a big smile on my face.

***

I hated my birthday. Not as much as Brian hated his, of course, but close enough. I had no intention of celebrating this year. Actually, all I wanted to do was close the door of my apartment behind me, kiss Blake, then go straight to bed and sleep the whole day away.

Unfortunately, Emmett had different ideas.

Opening the door of my apartment, a grinning Blake beside me, and finding it competely immersed in the dark should have been reassuring. I knew better.

“Surprise!!” Everyone but Brian, who just stood there smirking, yelled as soon as I turned on the lights.

I was immediately surrounded by people kissing me and hugging me, and I realized with perfect clarity that, not for the first time, I wanted to be Brian Kinney and tell everyone to “Fuck off.” No such luck.

The party in the end wasn’t even that bad. I circulated, talked, shook hands, got kissed and got presents. Yeah, presents.

“Here, Theodore,” Brian said, handing me an envelope with one hand while the other held Justin close to his side.

“Thank you, Bri,” I said smiling and opened the envelope. Inside there were tickets. Tickets for the Opera. Brian had given me two tickets for the Teatro La Fenice in Venice.

“Brian… what… this is… I can’t…”

“Come on, Theodore, don’t tell me you want to leave the chance to see the Opera in the place where it belongs pass you by!”

“Of course not, Brian, but… how should I…”

Brian slapped himself on the forehead, then turned towards Justin, who was still clinging to him, and said, “Sunshine, you were supposed to remind me!”

A grinning Justin replied, “Sorry,” then took out of Brian’s pocket a second envelope and handed it to me.

Two plane tickets for Venice.

“It’s too much, Brian, I can’t…”

“Oh that’s not my gift. My gift was in the first envelope. This one is all Sunshine’s idea. He insisted actually, can’t understand why to be honest.” Brian looked at me, almost daring me to do what he could see I wanted to do. Which was throw myself at him and kiss him. On the cheek, obviously.

The look he was giving me, albeit scared, was telling me something else too. ‘Take the fucking tickets, Theodore, and don’t make a big fuss over them. My friend.’

I was Brian Kinney’s friend. I could read that in his eyes. That was better than any hug or kiss I could ever hope to have from him.

Although, I started to question that statement a moment later when I saw Brian’s mouth basically devouring Justin’s. Not that I could ever get a kiss like that, mind you.

I stopped looking at them and went to find Blake. We had a trip to plan.

***

I could go on, really, I could talk to you for hours and show you many other sides of Brian Kinney. Sides I have been allowed to see more and more often. Like that time when Justin didn’t sleep for three days straight because he had a commission to finish and, when he barged in Brian’s office, red-eyed but smiling, the afternoon of the fourth day, Brian shut the door behind him and asked not to be disturbed again.

I had forgotten something in his office, I had to go in. I knocked, no one replied, so I decided to be brave and went in nonetheless. I saw Brian lying on the sofa with his back propped on the arm rest. He was reading something and had a sleeping Justin curled up on his chest. I smiled at him, he tried to glare for a while then dropped the act and smiled back. Never seen anything more beautiful.

Or that other time, with Gus and… no, I’ve said enough. And anyway I wasn’t trying to brag about my abilty to see Brian Kinney.

My purpose here was just to say that I’m happy. Happy that I have a dear friend in my life. Happy that this friend’s name is Brian Kinney.

Happy because…

“Theodore!”

“Uh.. yes, Bri?”

“If you could tear yourself away from your computer, we have a meeting going on. Your presence is required, your Majesty.”

Remind me again, what was I saying?


End file.
